Perry and Palin need a lesson from Piso.

At my old school, we were told on arrival that we could play rugby or hockey. This relic of that institution's presbyterian foundations left me with a choice whereby I had to pick one of what appeared to be two evils, and I was to pick the lesser of them. At my first rugby training sessions I was told again and again that I was to 'tackle the ball and the man'. Though my lack of desire in tackling anything was soon apparent - my defence liability making me too bad to put in the team, my attacking prowess making me too good to leave out - this mantra was drummed into me and transposed itself into other areas of my thinking, most notably in making decisions regarding any aspect of the world under the control of politicians. Thus, everything. Decisions are made harder when they are presented in 'coin form': heads or tails, democrat or republican, rugby or hockey.

In the year 123 BCE, a Roman politician - and one of the few politicians in history that I would call a personal hero of mine - Gaius Gracchus, carried a law whereby the profits of Rome's expanding empire would be used to subsidise grain, the staple diet of the masses of sickly, underfed, and malnourished citizens. Conservative opponents opposed the law vigourously, declaring that recipients would turn to idleness and the public treasury would be drained dry. One day, when the grain was being sold at an affordable price to the ailing public, Gracchus noticed an old political enemy among those getting food. The conservative Lucius Piso Frugi had turned up to participate in what he had previously argued against, and Gracchus naturally called out to him 'Piso, I thought you were set against helping to feed the public and this law of mine.' Piso's response is perhaps among that brand of conservatism that deserves neither respect nor contempt, but rather acceptance - 'I do not care for this fancy of yours, Gracchus, to divide my goods among every Tom, Dick and Harry; but, since that is what you are doing, I shall claim my share.'

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Don't mess with Texas. The previous two sentences are incomensurable in the light of Texas Governor Rick Perry's recent decision to reject $556 million in federal stimulus money that was earmarked for the 45,000 (and rising) unemployed Texans, most of whom did not anticipate a pink slip and so had no contingency plans. Perry claims that the money has too many strings attached and would place an additional burden on businesses. The money now looks like it will be used for other projects in other states.

States like... Alaska. No, not with the thriller from Wasilla at the helm of "The Last Frontier". Sarah Palin, who performed so disgracefully and wretchedly on the GOP campaign trail last year, has turned down over 30% (about $288 million) of federal stimulus funds, including dollars for schools, energy assistance, social services, and - wait for it - special needs students. This is the same Governor who the same day chastised President Obama for his Special Olympics gaffe on national television, calling it "a degrading remark about our world's most precious and unique people, coming from the most powerful position in the world." If we are to judge people not merely by their words, but rather by their actions, it seems that Palin is more interested in her "small government" credentials than the welfare of her constituents. By hitching a ride on the anti-Obama Tea party bandwagon, it appears obvious that Palin is already embedding her credentials for the 2012 primaries. Many at those Tea parties stated that the reason they were protesting was because they were not getting any return on their taxes, and they were very often correct. Perry and Palin had said 'thanks, but no thanks' to any return even being possible.

Meanwhile, workers lose jobs and have no security while others go on three or four day weeks at reduced pay, and students are not given the education that their parents and guardians have paid for and deserve. And all because of the fear of "big government" among people, which Perry and Palin, and no doubt some others soon, are tapping in to. Grandstanding and tackling the man rather than the ball will not solve anything for anyone, and these wretches could use a lesson in the Piso school of conservatism.